A surreal creative broadcast built for the girls who are the art, not just the artist.
From sassy hotline advice to dreamy QVC satire, we make the magic—and we film it too.
Because in the Museiverse, every idea deserves a main character moment.
Tonight’s programming includes unsolicited advice, emotional retail, and a whole lot of satin.
First, the Muse Hotline takes your spirals live on air. Our operator? Sassy, unbothered, and holding the phone cord like your healing depends on it.
Then we head to Muse House QVC, where we’re selling a broken heart in a jewelry box. Limited quantity. No refunds. Definitely cursed.
In this episode:
📞 Press 1 for creative burnout, 2 if he never called back
💔 Broken hearts go on sale
🛋 Affirmations are included, but emotionally backordered
✨ 1980s lighting, 2025 problems
Muse Network — for when you're too dramatic for therapy but too aesthetic for chaos.
In a bold move only slightly influenced by humidity and heartbreak, Muse Studios has officially expanded to Florida.
Our anchors deliver the breaking news. Our photographer barely survives. And the crocodile? He smiled for every shot.
In this segment:
🌀 MuseTV announces its southern migration
📸 Muse Studios takes on their weirdest booking yet
🐊 A crocodile serves face
🕶 A photographer questions everything
MuseTV — broadcasting straight from the sweatier side of the Museiverse.
Live from the Museiverse, where even the clouds have a moodboard and the humidity has opinions.
It’s a balmy night in the upper quadrant, and reports are rolling in:
• Light existential dread drifting in from the northeast
• 86% chance of overthinking around 3AM
• And somewhere in Florida, a crocodile named Bernard just booked his second shoot
Gertha is on-air tonight in full peach power suit, giving you the updates you didn’t know you needed—from emotional cold fronts to scattered delusions by sunrise.
Because in the Museiverse, the forecast isn’t about the weather…
it’s about the vibe.
Step inside the apartment of your inner creative self.
Muse Interiors isn’t just a home tour—it’s a soft-spoken flex. From plush velvet couches to existentially charged throw pillows, this segment explores what it means to live beautifully… even if you're emotionally bankrupt and spiritually rich.
In this episode:
✨ We pan across a 90s-inspired NYC apartment at dusk
✨ Our host does nothing but exist gorgeously
✨ You’ll consider repainting your soul in peach and mauve
Muse Interiors — Because in the Museiverse, your decor should match your delusions.
